Stop doing what you’re supposed to do. That is the lesson I took from two of the most defining moments in my personal and professional life.
The personal one first. I went to college single, had a great time, and met someone toward the end of my freshman year. I stayed with her through the rest of college and into my early career. We moved back to Boston together. After seven years I did what I thought I was supposed to do after being with someone that long: I got engaged. I took the leap even though I knew the relationship was not right. I felt like that was just what you did. Thankfully, she ended up ending it. My initial reaction was devastation, because that is how you are supposed to feel when your fiance breaks things off. But after about two days of feeling sorry for myself, I woke up and felt a massive weight lift off my shoulders. I eventually reached out to thank her for having the courage to do what I knew should have been done but could not bring myself to do. Now I am married to an incredible woman with a great kid and I could not be happier.
The professional story connects to something I wrote in more depth later: The Downside of an Acquisition. When my first company got acquired by Staples, I spent the first few months being genuinely optimistic about what it meant for me, the team, and the company’s future. After about six months of hitting red tape, fighting with executives, and getting worn down by the corporate pace, I went from optimistic to pessimistic fast. I remember telling people I was going to be successful regardless and “beat” them at their game. I even remember watching the movie 300 and thinking of myself as Leonidas leading his team against the Persians. Then the sobering thought hit me: Leonidas and the 300 died. Which is ultimately what happened to me. I fought and fought even though I knew it was not right, because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Eventually they let me go. I was devastated for a few days, then woke up and felt the same thing I felt after the engagement ended: a massive weight off my shoulders. It was the best thing that could have happened to my professional career because it forced me to find my real passion.
The point of both stories is the same. I was going through my personal and professional life doing what I thought I was supposed to do. In both cases, someone else made the decision I was not willing to make for myself. I got lucky. Not everyone does.
If something does not feel right, in your company, your career, your role, go do something about it. Stop doing what you are supposed to do.
How to try this at work
If your manager is telling you to make 50 to 100 dials a day and blast through a list, but you think a more targeted approach would produce better results, try the targeted approach for a week. Take the heat if it comes, then show the numbers that prove you right.
If you are being told to walk through the corporate slide deck slide by slide, but you think a more dynamic, customer-specific approach would land better, try it a few times. Get feedback and bring it back to your manager with data behind it.
If you are consistently at the top of the leaderboard but your manager says you need two years in your current role before you can be considered for a promotion, at the same time as reps who are not producing like you, either make a move or get creative in your existing role and take on work that proves what you are capable of.
There are more opportunities out there than most people realize. You just have to be willing to stop following the path that was laid out for you and start building your own.
Make It Happen.
John Barrows helps sales leaders decide whether to replace or rebuild their teams for the AI era. For 25+ years he has worked with the world’s most demanding sales organizations, including Salesforce, LinkedIn, Google, Amazon, and Okta, building the frameworks that became Filling the Funnel and Driving to Close. He is the host of Make It Happen Mondays, author of I Want to Be in Sales When I Grow Up, and an LP at GTMfund. His training programs are available at learn.jbarrows.com.
