Make It Happen Mondays | Episode 242 | November 1, 2021
Negotiations and tactical empathy are not closing tactics. They are a communication system. In this episode, former FBI lead hostage negotiator and Never Split the Difference author Chris Voss joins John Barrows to talk about the negotiation skills that actually move deals and the mindset errors that kill them.
Listen on Captivate | Apple Podcasts | Spotify
About Chris Voss
Chris Voss spent 24 years as an FBI hostage negotiator, including lead international kidnapping negotiator. He is the author of Never Split the Difference, CEO and Founder of The Black Swan Group, and one of the most in-demand negotiation trainers in the world. His frameworks have been applied across Fortune 500 sales organizations, law enforcement, and international diplomacy.
- Website: blackswanltd.com
- LinkedIn: Chris Voss
- Book: Never Split the Difference on Amazon
What You’ll Learn
- Why loss aversion drives more buying decisions than gain and how to use that in a sales conversation
- Due diligence as a negotiation tool: what buyers are really looking for before they say yes
- How emotional intelligence shapes every negotiation outcome, even in transactional deals
- The role of language and tone in building or destroying trust mid-deal
- Tactical empathy in practice: how to acknowledge the other side without giving up leverage
- Why discounting is a negotiation mistake most reps don’t realize they’re making
The Key Insight on Negotiations and Tactical Empathy
The biggest error reps make in negotiations is trying to drive toward “yes” too quickly. Voss argues that “no” is often the beginning of the real conversation. When a buyer says no, they’re telling you something valuable. The rep’s job is to understand what that something is.
Why This Matters for Your Pipeline
Every deal has a negotiation embedded in it. The discovery call is a negotiation. The proposal is a negotiation. Even how you schedule the follow-up is a negotiation. Reps who learn these frameworks stop losing deals at the finish line.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is tactical empathy in sales negotiations?
Tactical empathy means demonstrating that you understand the other side’s perspective and emotions without agreeing with them or giving up your position. In practice it sounds like labeling what the other person seems to be feeling: “It seems like you’re concerned about the timeline.” That acknowledgment lowers defensiveness and opens the door to honest conversation. It is not about being nice, it is about being accurate.
Why does Chris Voss say “no” is better than “yes” in a negotiation?
A quick “yes” is often a counterfeit agreement. The other side saying what they think you want to hear. “No” means the buyer is engaged and protecting something they actually care about. When you understand what they’re protecting, you have real information to work with. Voss trains salespeople to invite “no” early in conversations because it surfaces the real objection instead of letting it kill the deal later.
How do you use loss aversion in a sales conversation?
Loss aversion means people are more motivated by avoiding a loss than by achieving a gain. In a sales context, framing your value around what the buyer stands to lose without your solution – competitive position, time, revenue – is more persuasive than framing it around what they’ll gain. The key is specificity: vague loss statements don’t move people. Specific ones do.
What negotiation mistakes do sales reps make most often?
The most common mistakes Voss identifies: anchoring too high or too low without a rationale, making concessions without getting something in return, using the word “fair” (which triggers defensiveness), and trying to get to “yes” before the buyer is emotionally ready. The deeper mistake is treating negotiation as a separate phase of the deal instead of a communication discipline that runs through every conversation.
Make It Happen Mondays is hosted by John Barrows, sales trainer to Salesforce, LinkedIn, Google, Amazon, and Okta. New episodes drop every Monday. Subscribe and listen on all platforms.
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